Distorted vision

There are several reasons why I don't consider myself to be a fully functioning adult:
- I never have stamps or tissues when I need them.
- I own more tshirts with silly pictures on them than the average 5 year old
- I get ridiculously scared when I watch scary movies on tv and have to check all the cupboards in case someone is hiding in them.

Also I always run out of contact lenses at inappropriate times. I'm currently reduced to one left lens, so I'm mostly wearing glasses, which is helpful when it's 33 degrees and you need to wear sunglasses. But I am suffering from myopia in more ways than one. I feel fatter than ever, which is patently not true. I guess I'm spending so much time thinking about it, I'm losing perspective. I've set myself a mini-goal - to lose 3 lbs in the next 2 weeks (before going on holiday). But I also need to remember to be kind to myself. I realised I was sliding into the realms of madness yesterday when I was chewing then spitting out a piece of cake to get the flavour without the calories. Uh-oh, eating disorder alert!!!

I have a notoriously bad memory, but on reflection I think I got dangerously close to anorexia when I was about 14. My periods stopped for about a year, and I was skipping lunch at school then telling my mum I wasn't hungry when I got home. I was never emaciated but I was tired all the time. I think it was triggered by worry over my exams. I first really started piling weight on at university, and after graduating, when I was a solid size 16. Then I lost weight in 2000, 2002 and 2006. I really hope that 2009 is the last time I have to do it.