Cooking by numbers

I went to a cooking lesson this afternoon, where I made salmon and haddock fishcake, thai green chicken curry, and raspberry cheesecake. I say made, but I should really say assembled, because all of the ingredients were sitting in little cases, ready for me to pat together as instructed. I was really disappointed, as I wanted to grind the spices together for my curry. Also I asked how they made the "cheese" bit of the cheesecake and it turned out to be from double cream and marscapone so I ended up giving it to M as I thought it would be too fattening. Also I fucked up the curry by adding the sauce when I should have put it in a separate pot. So all in all I paid £20 for 2 fishcakes I could have bought in Marks and Spencer for £1.50. But I had a really fun afternoon with M and L from work, we gossiped all afternoon about boys.

Tomorrow I'm going to get organised for my holiday by buying a suitcase and toiletries, and also by gutting my wardrobe and throwing out things I will never wear. I still have the numb feeling, I don't like it very much. I feel like I'm observing the world from behind a pane of glass.