Just breathe

I am really really low today. Something I work on that I am very passionate about has been seriously threatened. Added to that, my face and neck are covered in spots, I've put on 4lbs since New York and I am feeling so hungry all the time that I've been eating crisps like they're about to stop growing potatoes.

It's times like this that I want to crawl into my bed and not get out for a few days. And there have been times in the past when I've done just that. And there was a point today when I left my desk, went outside and cried.

But I know that retreating is not the answer, and I've got to face things head on. So I will pack my gym gear and do some exercise tomorrow, be more careful about what I eat, and get a good night's sleep.

Spend spend spend

It's been a while since I posted on here - no particular reason, just had bits and pieces going on. The work event was an absolute triumph and I got huge praise, (the word used was "stellar") but actually it was the fact that the kids loved it so that made me the happiest.

New York was better than I could have imagined. BARACK OBAMA was staying at our hotel. It was completely insane. I hadn't realised that all the world leaders would be at the United Nations. It was amazing. My parents had a ball, they said it was the best holiday they'd ever had, which was so lovely.

I spent a shedload of money in New York, and I spent a shedload more today. But it's my money, I earned it and I can spend it how I like. I bought (deep breath)

A brown tweed DKNY winter coat
Green leather gloves
A black and green trenchcoat
A green scarf
A green handbag and matching purse
A navy blue shirt dress
A black shirt with a ruffle front
Marc Jacobs Lola perfume (actually my mum bought that for me)
Calvin Klein knickers
Make-up from Sephora
Work-out clothes for the gym

And today I bought
the NICEST irregular choice shoes ever (I'll add a photo if I can figure out how)
A blue silk dress
A red Roland Mouret-esque dress
A new suit for work (grey with pink pin-stripe)
A fuschia silk top.

And I still need to buy winter boots....

Cold light of day

Pnnic attack is over, the preparations went well today. It's in the lap of the gods now. I am feeling very smug however as someone quite important told me that this is the best-organised event he's ever seen. It's all downhill from here....

Hilariously, my foot is much better when I wear high heeled shoes, as I did today. I think my body is rejecting efforts to try and make it wear flats and trainers.

Tomorrow (just in case I'm on the telly) I'm going to wear my beige Reiss suit, coral silk top, and my brown suede Moschino shoes. Vain, moi?

Panic attack

I am very very worried that the Big Work Event is going to go wrong. Despite weeks and weeks of planning I can't sleep with about 30 hours to go. There are just so many ways for it to go wrong - things not being delivered on time, people attending saying the wrong thing. Just as well it's not being filmed, oh, wait, yes it is, for a national tv station.

I can't calm down enough to sleep, which means I'll be tired tomorrow, which means I'll be even more flaky and stressed. I actually want to vomit right now.

Sod's law

Back in the bad old days when I was a lazy bugger, one of the many excuses I used for not doing any exercise was that all the people I knew who did it ended up injuring themselves.

After a triumphant 5km run today (43 minutes) my right foot is incredibly painful, to the point where if I stand up and put any weight on it I gasp in pain.

Excellent.

As a consequence, I have instituted ultimate "be nice to self" measures. I had a long bath, a facemask, a snooze and am currently listening to Classic FM.

White van man

So I'm walking down the road on the way to Pilates, and the traffic is moving really slowly because there are some roadworks ahead. There is a white van ahead which is blaring out "She's like the wind", the song from Dirty Dancing from Patrick Swayze. I've got my sunglasses on and am sipping from a bottle of water. As I pass the van I have a bit of a nose to see who is playing their music so loud. The two guys in the van see me do this and they start singing along to the song, really loudly and out of tune. They serenade me all the way down the road, as the traffic is moving at pretty much the same speed I am walking. It is completely mortifying but at the same time hilarious.

Hungover again

I had 4 large glasses of wine last night. Which is a litre. I knew at the time that the 4th glass was a mistake but I was drunk enough to persuade myself I would be fine. I somehow stumbled home, threw up in the bathroom sink and went to bed without dinner. Then I woke up at 6am starving and thirsty, and cursed myself for the millionth time for not having a Brita filter and having to drink dirty London water. Well done me.

On the upside, I am 10 stones 2, but that's probably just because my body is devoid of fluid. Next week is the Big Work Event, which I've been organising since May. Predictably it's all unravelling before my eyes and I spent most of yesterday with my shoulders round my ears going nuts at the stupidity and rudeness of some on the imbeciles in the other Dept. But it will all be fine, I'm sure.

Tomorrow is the 5km run, which I signed up for after watching the marathon this year. I really haven't trained enough but it's too late to worry now. I'm off to pilates again this afternoon with the lovely Paul. He is the campest man I've ever met - and I'm sure he pencils in his eyebrows and he's always pulling up his top to show off his great abs. I love him. :-)