Bank holiday blues

My life is so safe and sorted it's smothering me. A lovely flat, great job, and nice friends are all wonderful things to have and I do appreciate how lucky I am, but it's all just so terribly safe. Amongst the things I have never done are:

- smoked a cigarette
- taken drugs
- been to the Notting Hill carnival
- rode a motorbike
- been fired
- failed an exam
- thrown a tantrum
- punched someone

Perhaps I should apply to be on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square and get naked. It's what everyone else up there seems to be doing.

I'm currently prevaricating about filling in a job application for a really great job. I think I'm reluctant to leave my current one because I know what I'm doing and the team is so great. But I'm pretty sure my boss will be moving on in the autumn and there are no end of pain in the arse people who'll be queuing up to apply for her job. I said to myself I would start the application at 6.00 and it's now 6.50. Ok, I'll start it at 7.00.

I really, really wish I had a boyfriend. I'm really quite lonely a lot of the time, and it would be nice to have someone to hang out with. But until the MASSIVE coldsore on my lip goes down I'm considering myself (temporarily) off the market. The 25 year old has stopped emailing and texting me. I assume he's figured out I'm 32. Oh well. But I haven't been out for a proper night out in London for weeks. I ain't going to meet anyone sitting on my balcony. Except, perhaps, a windowcleaner.

Not dead

...it's just been a bit hectic round gallustowers. I had loads of people staying over and barely had a spare moment. But it's all been quiet and lovely today. I went to pilates, which was so great, I have never loved an exercise class so much. Then I did a bit of shopping, and managed to walk away from a dress, shoes, a skirt and a top. Then I fell by the wayside by buying new underwear and a webcam. That sounds dodgy, but I don't actually plan to be wearing the underwear whilst on the webcam.

There was a man on the bus today who was cutting his nails. It was so gross I almost wanted to vomit. What possesses people to do such a thing? The only acceptable place to cut your nails is in the privacy of your own home. It is not socially acceptable to have nail clippings pinging all over the bus. But I should hardly be surprised. People in London pick their nose on public transport, and fail to realise the importance of deodorant. Yuck.

Only connect

I decided to sponsor a child in Africa and the paperwork came through today. Her name is F and she lives in Niger. I got sent some photos and some background about her village. She's 11 and lives in a house made of unfired mud bricks with a straw roof. She goes to primary school and has access to clean water. I have to write her a letter, I'm not quite sure what to say.

I kissed a boy

..and I liked it. A few small details - he's 27, GORGEOUS, but lives in my home town, which is in Scotland. Dammit. I've stalked him via Facebook, obviously. I know a few of his friends, but there are enough degrees of separation for it not to be too awkward. He's already suggested coming to London to see me, which I think would be fun.

Otherwise I had a great weekend seeing my family and friends. I bought a Primark outfit to go out in as my size 16 dress that I'd stupidly packed was far too big. So I bought £5 black leggings (size 10), a £7 black top (size 12) and a £2 belt. Credit crunch chic! Everyone commented on how skinny I am looking. YEY!

Update: Upon further stalking, I discovered he is 25. Eek. Too young I fear. Shit.

Complaint

Dear *very expensive gym*

I am writing to complain about one of your classes. Calling it "start2step" led me to believe it would suitable for someone who hasn't done a step aerobics class before. And therefore imagine my surprise when it was Fecking Impossible to keep up and full of complicated steps. Please retitle the class "verycomplicatedstep". That is all.

Ahhh

What a lovely night, great friends and conversation, and the food wasn't half bad either :-)

It was great to see A tonight, he was a total legend, coming over early to help me with the salad and veggies. I would have been in a total flap otherwise.

Wash the floors, Cinderella, do the dishes Cinderella

I am cooking dinner for 9 people on Monday. I've decided to do

• cider and mustard chicken,
• red pepper and courgette couscous
• green beans with garlic and proscuitto in balsamic vinegar
• roast butternut squash
• salad

with plums and greek yoghurt for afters. The best bit about it all is that it's all low-fat yet (hopefully) still tasty. The less fun bit about having people over to the flat is that I have to clean the place from top to bottom. I am not a naturally tidy person. I can live with mess, as long as it's my own. Hence there are clothes drying all over the living room, piles of magazines on the floor and random crap pretty much everywhere. So far I've cleaned the bathroom and kitchen, next job is to tidy up the living room and mop the floor. Luckily I'm going out tonight for a picnic and a film (Somerset House again for the premiere of "The Soloist.") so I've got a reward for all the cleaning.

It's not raining men

It finally started to rain tonight, which we really needed after two days of intense mugginess (is that a word?) I went to Reebok reps and used slightly heavier weights, which made it much more difficult. Also the instructor was a man who shouted at us A LOT. I did not enjoy that. I particularly didn't enjoy it when he picked on me to do press ups. Think I'll give him a miss in future, which is for his sake as well as mine really. I can't imagine he'd like having a 5kilo weight between the eyes.

It's been flipping ages since I had a date. Ridiculous really that I was pulling quite regularly when I was heavier yet now I'm losing weight I haven't had a sniff. Not quite sure what I can do about it. I have been going out a fair bit. Tomorrow night I'm going to a Gordon Ramsay restaurant for dinner (it's a special offer) with some friends from work.

Update: It is STILL raining heavily. Another hour or so and I expect to see an ark drifting past my window.

A different life

I feel slightly pole-axed tonight. Don't get me wrong, everything in my life is hunky-dory - work is fine, tied for first place in the pub quiz, a random guy at work commented on how much weight I'd lost, yada yada yada.

My mum left me a voicemail telling me that SR had been found dead. SR is a girl that I went to primary school with. I was friends with her from the age of about 9-11. She was a smart girl, she and I were by far the two brightest kids in the class. But when we went to high school we lost touch, though I was aware her life was going off the rails. I'd heard on the grapevine that she'd been hospitalised for anorexia in her twenties. And more recently I'd heard that she was drinking heavily. Poor, poor girl. Who could have ever forseen that things could have turned out so badly. I wonder what it was that made it so difficult for her to turn things around.

I'm going to try and appreciate all the good things in my life and all the people I love and who love me. Poor, poor SR.

Knackerdo

I am absolutely shattered. I was yawning my head off at work all day, so I gave up at 4.30 and came home, and since then have watched back to back Doctor Who episodes. Life is tough.

I went to see The Shawshank Redemption at the outdoor cinema with my team last night. We had a picnic beforehand, at which I over-ate. But I'm not too worried about it. I'll be back at the gym tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that...!

It'll be an early night tonight, after Ugly Betty on tv of course!

Start spreading the news

I've just spent a serious amount of money booking the New York trip. I ended up going for the Waldorf Astoria because it was only £150 more than the Affinia, and the latter hotel only had one double and a sofa bed, rather than 2 doubles. So the Family Gallus will be doing NYC Park Avenue styleeeeee! My parents are superchuffed.

I had a minor panic attack because my mum's passport expires less than 6 months after we leave the US, but according to the Department of Homeland Security and the US Embassy websites it's ok because the UK and the US have signed a waiver on that rule.

So all I need to do now is start saving my spending money! I'm sooooo excited. I've been to New York twice before and loved it both times. This time around I want to see the Statue of Liberty close up, and I want me and my parents to have cocktails in The Campbell Apartments,
http://www.hospitalityholdings.com/ which is next to Grand Central Station.

I went to an aerobics class at the gym this morning. It was my favourite so far - really dancey and fun and all the other women there weren't gym bunnies, just normal sized women (and one man, bless him.) Now I'm off to get ready for dinner at S and Ds.

I really shouldn't drink

It's a nightmare in so many ways - last night I sent inappropriate text messages, ate a greasy pizza for dinner and this morning I woke up with a hangover. I can usually stick to my pledges not to drink (I do it every January.) But this time I only lasted 6 days. Maybe it's because I'm changing so many other things in my life at the moment that it's proving more difficult. I'm going to the gym this afternoon to sweat the wine remnants out of my body.

The scales are reading 10st 6lbs at the moment, which is great. Some of the guys at work are runners and they've been trying to get me to sign up for the Grim challenge.
http://www.grimchallenge.co.uk/grim-original/info.php

I told them that contrary to popular opinion I am not in fact insane, and will NOT be taking part.